An unexpected dividend of starting a blog has been 'meeting' some amazingly funny, eclectic, and strange women via the blogophere.  Some of them have been writing posts about what they're thankful for in this mortal coil.  So I've got a list of my own thankful stuff.  

Let's automatically assume all the assumable things: God, family, health, friends, funds for the trappings of middle-class suburbia.  Don't misunderstand me...just because they're grouped as such doesn't make me any less thankful (sorry for the double-negative, grammar Nazis).   But let's get to the wacky thanksy list, shall we? 
Caller ID
Some of you reading this are probably too young to remember life before Caller ID. Bless your hearts. Let me tell ya, it was God awful.  You had to actually talk to people, most of them beyond annoying because they wanted to sell you stuff - or worse - people you knew, but had successfully avoided in person.  Now, thanks to caller ID, I've avoided whole hoards of people for, like, decades.  Pure awesomeness.
Being a Woman in the United States
I'm not saying being a woman is always easy, but dagnabbit I'm uber thankful I get to share my witchy-woman-ways in this country.  And I 
want to thank this country for allowing me to take out more money in student loans than I'm worth in insurance money...but hey, at least I was able to earn a top notch education and utilize it to make $.77 for every buck a guy makes.  

Ok, all snark aside, I love my country. I'm a patriot with roots dating back to the American Revolution and beyond (from my non-Jewish side, but hey, it still counts).  This country may still objectify women, undervalue our paid and non-paid labor and fail to fully represent our interests in corporate and government affairs, but better here than almost anywhere else, where I'd probably be stoned to death by leaving my head uncovered or expected to cook and clean while tending my in-laws goat herd. Have you ever been around goats? They smell nasty and they're the a-holes of the animal kingdom. Just saying...
Food Delivery
If I only had to cook once every fiscal quarter, or just for major holidays - and major is defined by either a school closing or a Hallmark card display - then having to cook wouldn't be a big deal.  And in fairness, I should report that Hot Hubby does his fair share of cooking.  That said, having to come up with a dinner every-friggin'-night sucks weinis.

That is why food delivery is a beautiful thing.  I wish my lil' town in Northern Virginia had more to offer than pizza, Thai, and Chinese, but I am grateful nonetheless for my limited food delivery. My ass isn't, but the rest of me is.
Being Born in the Age of Frequent Showers, Antiperspirant, and Braces
As a former history professor, I used to entertain the well-worn fantasy of when and where would I travel back in time for a visit, equipped with my DeLorean time machine, of course (sorry for the bad 80s movies reference. My husband would be proud). Anyway, as I've aged and got-me-some-learning, I've realized a couple of things:

1. Thank God for orthodontics because without them, there wouldn't have been enough donkeys and lactating cows in my dowry to marry me off. Not to brag, but I had quite the overbite in my day.

2. People stink. Can you imagine how putrid it was in the Middle Ages, when deodorant was non-existent and showers were a rarity? Dear GOD I reek like the most unholy of beasts if I miss one day alone. 

I'm a typical American in that I prize straight, white teeth and artificial smells which mimic the idea of nature - with scents like Fresh Breeze, Happy Beach Day, and Sunshine Rainbow Morning Dew - instead of the real thing like Horse Manure, Dog Flatulence, or Rotting Fruit on the Ground.  Guess I'm funny that way.
Privilege - The Other White Meat
I'm a social worker in training, which is the short version of stating that I believe in the inherent decency within people.  And being a white, blonde haired, green-eyed woman allows me a magical power to see the kindness of strangers all the time.  Clerks smile at me when I come into their stores.  Men hold their doors open for me - a bonus living in Virginia. And I can occasionally - although not as much as when I was younger - talk my way out of a ticket with that nice police officer stopping me while doing his or her job. 

I lived in that bubble for a while - until I realized that I was enjoying the byproduct of white privilege.  I found this out because once I got out of my lil' white suburban bubble by the sea, I made friends with varying shades of colorful characters and would be surprised, then saddened, to discover that my 'friendly' grocer down by the corner of where I lived in New Orleans didn't give the same greetings and smiles to my black friends as he did to me.  I also found out that my some of my grad school peers got stopped by the police weekly, and not because s/he had a lead foot.


Of course, I'll be more thankful for equal treatment for everyone and I'm happy to say I see more of that here in my town than I ever saw in Miami, New Orleans, or even San Francisco combined.  Yeah Vienna! But until then, I'm sadly grateful that just as I give people the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise, I am able to experience such treatment myself.

I have more to be thankful for - but that's it for today. What are you grateful for? Blogs not ending in prepositions? 

P.S: Click on the Thankful link below to be magically transported to some of the funniest and most thought provoking bloggers - EVA! 

Ten Things of Thankful


09/16/2013 3:29pm

I LOVE this list! So funny and insightful and very, very real. Will you link it up with us next weekend? Pretty please?

09/16/2013 3:52pm

You had me at link up. Just tell me how.

09/19/2013 6:29pm

Come on over to mine any time Saturday or Sunday, bring your link to this post, and submit it in the linkie tool there :) WHOOT!

09/16/2013 5:12pm

Sweet! You are hilarious. I too treasure caller ID and deodorant and braces. However, for some reason, when I travel to Italy, I notice some people aren't as offended by putrid B.O. And I do think most of take for granted the privilege we experience daily. Your list is awesome and I'm so glad I found you on the Blog Hop at Kristi w/Finding Ninee. Hope to read more from you.
Out One Ear

09/19/2013 6:27am

I'll be happy to give you an 'earful' - muwha haha ha ha. Thanks for stopping by!

09/21/2013 2:01pm

A funny ,pertinent and truthful list...I feel your social worker pain.

09/22/2013 9:40am

What a fantastic list of thankfulness!!
We just got caller ID last year, and I can't even believe how wonderful it is, even though we don't get many calls on it anymore.
Food doesn't deliver to our neck of the woods. Pity, really.
Amen to the modern standard of hygiene! Have mercy. Living with just my kids and husband, who I make shower and brush teeth regularly, still come with plenty of odors.
My family still lives in quite a bubble, I hate to say. I break out of it by taking the kids to work at the food pantry and other types of work, but our day-to-day is still bubble-like.
I very much enjoyed your post and am grateful you linked up with us this week!

09/22/2013 10:20am

Awesome list! I'm definitely glad I life in the time I do now. I had a friend from Berlin who told me she'd love to live in the Middle Ages. I took her to the local history museum, that has set up examples of houses and workplaces from all kinds of period to walk around in. I showed her the medieval hut and told her, if she'd lived in the Middle Ages, it would have been most likely in one of these.. Plus the smell, dying in childbirth, from a tooth infection, a broken bone, or blood poisoning. Yes, definitely something to be thankful for!

09/22/2013 12:05pm

Loved your post! All very honest and true. "not enough donkeys and lactating cows in my dowry to marry me off"...hahahaha! I enjoy the way your write. I'll be back...

09/22/2013 1:48pm

This list is too funny. Loved it! I live in Southwest Virginia.... an hour away from Roanoke. I'm closer to the Tennessee and North Carolina lines. :) I remember growing up with a phone that actually was mounted on the wall, rotary, and it had a cord! Now, I too, divulge in the invention of Caller I.D. and ignoring people. lol

09/22/2013 8:15pm

Thanks for linking up. Hurray for frequent showers!

09/23/2013 7:05pm

I agree with everything on your list. I think Caller ID was invented for the sole purpose of avoiding people. That's why it's GREAT! I would have made a lousy pioneer. Outhouses. No deodorant. No shaving of legs or armpits (although there is something kind of cool about that as well, since it's a pain in the ass to keep up with it, but oh, so necessary). No caller ID. And I wish for parity for all people, no matter whom they love or what color they are or whom they choose to (or not to) worship.

So glad you linked up with us this week!

09/26/2013 6:20pm

Thank you Dyanne, Kristi, Beth and Don! I really appreciate your uber kind comments :)


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